DID in Detail – DID and OSDD: feat. The Patchwork System

This is Rayn with our multi-sided system here with Rey.
– Hi, I am Rey. So I am part of an OSDD 1b system I am the host of the system, and we call ourselves the patchwork system. Yeah, and since they were visiting us over the System Pride weekend we decided you know what this is a fun opportunity to introduce more Systems to the general community and like have this cool discussion that we can share with you guys So tell us a little bit about yourself, Rey, outside of you know system fun. Yeah. So, um, my name is Rey My pronouns are they/them. Identify as gender fluid and poly gender so, as for myself. I’m a super nerd
– And, cool thing is, They are my partner. And I love them very much.
-I love you too So OSDD okay. So a lot of people actually haven’t heard of this so what does that mean? so OSDD stands for otherwise specified dissociative disorders and the ones that closely resemble di D systems are OSDD-1 so first of all, that is we are still system, you know, we’re multiple How does that how does that happen? so, um it’s like a different thing than like DID does or is it different?
– so for OSDD-1 it still kind of Manifests the same as a D ID system. It’s you know something that has to develop in childhood and it is trauma related it’s like a defense mechanism like DID and there is OSDD 1 and OSDD 1b so at OSDD 1a They do not really experience the distinct separate personalities. It’s kind of like a facet of the same person So it might just be like, you know, if your name’s Bob for example Like it might be this is one part of Bob This is another part of Bob or a lot of times. It can be different ages in their life as well – okay,
– but they still experienced amnesia and OSDD 1b, which is what we have is probably the closest to a DID system And the fact that there is still unique personalities But we do not experience the amnesia between switches and between personalities.
– huh? That’s fascinating so like switching out has to be a different.. I wouldn’t say different thing entirely but a very different experience from like what I experience when we switch out. Yeah. So for us it’s like Basically, we’re always co-driving So, I’m usually the one that’s in the background if someone else is driving so I can still see what’s going on It’s kind of just more like a passive thing Like basically, I’m in the passenger seat while they’re driving and I can see everything that’s going on But I’m just not the one in control. I’m doing it like a movie basically.
– Gotcha. Yeah, it took us a while to get to Like that level of cohesion and it still doesn’t always happen for us we actually have to actively like Decide okay. We are going to co-drive right now or we’re gonna co-front right now Otherwise, it’s a bit more drastic of a passing of the torch.
– Yeah. In addition to that now, I know you said like you guys don’t experience amnesia Do you guys have like any amnesia at all? or is this just Not something you deal with like period or how does like your amnesia work in comparison to like DID So in our situation, it’s not that we’ve never had amnesia It’s more of just like we don’t experience like day to day but we actually do have a trauma holder that I guess held on to a lot of memories over the years and I actually didn’t become recently Where any of this until very recently. You know once we became more aware as a system, so it’s not that they never like we never have any type of amnesia It’s more just like we don’t experience it between switches like if someone else is out like for a day or part of the day or whatever and I came back I Would be aware of everything that went on that day. Okay, and um, well what is one of you like forget something while they’re driving? Everybody forgets.
Oh, No! So it’s kind of like almost like weird have like a shared Google Drive It’s like we all have the same information. We all know what’s going on at all times Which can sometimes be a bad thing Like if you misplace.. Was that what happened you misplaced your phone? Yeah, so we we misplaced our phone today and Nobody knew or it was like we were all kind of going in our head something like a saying you Do you know do you know? No? But the good thing was one of our alters Paige who’s kind of the logical one Had a very good approach on how to find the phone which was like through the Find my Phone app, so that got resolved That’s good, um, so um now I know you guys don’t experience like any kind of an amnesia between switches or when you guys are driving or fronting What’s it like to switch?
– Um, so most the time, Kind of how it works for us is usually some- like we’re about to switch someone’s already kind of close to the front so we can kind of sense when it’s about to happen and It’s very seamless. It’s almost kind of like Kind of like turning down the volume control for one person and turning it up for another And sometimes we don’t even realize at first that it happened because it’s that seamless Um until you, you know notice: “oh, okay The body’s behaving differently. So obviously this is so-and-so.” But that’s not to say that we don’t ever have like the dissociative states between switches Like sometimes it can take longer to switch, especially If you know someone’s not quite as close to the front, but maybe, you know, Maybe I am dealing some at the time that I think you know, this person would be better situated situated to take care of that, um, whatever is going on and I kind of communicate with them and you know, we kind of just Like I don’t know have that little gap between I guess like the autopilot mode before it happens. Yeah Yeah that happens, no worries. For us switching is a little bit different. It’s closer to passing a stick or passing the baton to someone else instead of Kind of one fades in one fades out. There’s a definite “pass” moment and like unless we’re deciding to like co-front then I’m not really.. Like I’m not really aware of what goes on unless I’m paying attention like I have to actively pay attention in-world To figure out what’s going on out-world if I’m not cool fronting with anyone.
– Yeah That’s cool that you guys kind of like have that seamless transition of sorts. You don’t have the awkward situation that we’ve run into so many times of like OK we’ve switched out Five-second check of Context what we’re doing where we are what we’re wearing. Who’s around us. Okay? Okay. Okay. Okay. We must be doing blank yeah, and then picking it up you guys kind of like pass a lot Yeah, like I said, sometimes it’s so hard to detect that I may not even be aware of at first that it happened. Like suddenly Like you know Ayden will laugh or do something stupid I’m just like yeah, that’s not me *laughing*
That’s awesome. Yeah.
– now the cool thing is What we’ve noticed is a lot of the same terminology when it comes to like roles or types of alters They have the same like you can use the same terminology and the same general ideas in an OSDD system or as As in a DID system. So for example, our protectors are actually going to be doing a video on What it’s like to be a protector in the difference in areas, which I think is super cool.
– Yeah And, uh I find that in so far as like different people are concerned like Rey’s system, the patchwork system, is just as very distinctly their own people as We are. Which is really cool to see in For you know for the situation where like you guys can switch out pretty seamlessly. Yeah Usually switch out pretty seamlessly unless you know, you want to grab someone specific who might not be around. Yeah I mean, it’s not just like I just see them as like this is you know, “happy Rey” This is “sad Rey” like more like this is Ayden This is what Ayden looks like, you know, Ayden has his own age, He has his own, you know just his own distinct personality – his birthday is in the beginning of the year too.
– yeah, actually, he actually has his own birthday as well that he identifies with So yeah Really interesting to figure out like what everyone else starts to figure out about themselves It’s really interesting because it’s kinda almost like we’re all figuring things out at the same time because you know it’s just one of those things where We’re all kind of communicating and learning how to figure things out at the same time now having those kind of a More subtle differences between like DID. I know I had pretty I Guess you could say definitive clues on how Like, okay. Maybe there is more than one of me that chill out over here Yeah, uh, what was it like for you guys to kind of figure out like, oh wait This is a thing.
– Yeah, it definitely was a lot harder to figure out In fact, I think the only reason why I kind of figured it out was actually because of you all. Because you know, I knew my partner had DID and I wanted to learn more about it So I started researching and you know watching other youtubers in the DID community and You know as I’m coming across this at the same time we had started doing our own therapy for our own trauma and it’s just sort of like, you know, I started feeling these presences pop up and It was a little scary but when I came across the OSDD diagnosis It kind of just finally clicked because I think before that it was a little harder to figure out because I didn’t have the amnesia You know, so it didn’t sound anything like what people were describing with their DID. So, I was like “no that can’t be what you know, what’s going on.” I don’t know. It just was kind of that aha moment and everything just kind of made sense Well, I’m glad you guys figured it out too. Yeah, I’ve had a blast like meeting your entire system. They’ve been like super cool yeah, and I’m glad that you like also like when didn’t talk to like your trauma therapist to be like “hey, this is this is a thing?” Yeah.
– because of course whenever you bring this up to a professional you don’t ever go do like the whole like, okay This is a thing. Yeah, especially when you just recently figure this out. I don’t care what kind of system you are You just figure this out. You’re like…
– it’s very overwhelming. Yeah.
– Oh, yeah. It’s like it’s still overwhelming even now to just like have to figure it all out.
– Yeah, absolutely. Okay, there are people in my head What the everliving heck is going on. There are people in my head. Yeah. It’s never a There’s there’s a click of an ah-ha moment of oh, yeah, this makes sense but at the same time when you’re making that like BAM There’s the anxiety of wait a second.
– It’s like “Wait a minute” and then like there’s a lot of denial – oh, yeah. Yeah Yeah, some days. You’re just like no That can’t be real Like I have to be this has to be some kind of elaborate thing that my brain has done which isn’t wrong Yeah, I mean it’s not wrong, but it’s not that like I suddenly made it up or something. Yes It’s real
– exactly exactly and I think that’s something that a lot of systems can like relate to each other about it’s like that initial denial of what’s going on, but at the same time There’s kind of like that inner knowledge of yeah. This is That’s a thing And it’s even funnier when you’re denying it and then you hear like someone in the back of your head going like ‘Shuddup”
– “dude!” – “You know, it’s real.”
– “I live in your head” And you’re like “Ack. Dangit. all right fine” But ya know we figured this time of the year would be a really cool time and just like, you know sit down and talk about the different kinds of systems that you can run into in the community and those of us who celebrated like System Pride Day on Saturday and And we’re still all valid. You know, whatever type of system you are you’re you’re still, you know. Your system is valid. Well, you’re here and you survived and that’s the important thing So that kind of wraps up most of the things that we wanted to talk about We also found before we let you all go because we’re gonna leave a bunch of this stuff (in the description) First things first, you can find the patchwork system on Twitter (and now on YT) We will leave like their contact information in the comments as well as these amazing scarfs and where you can go get those the acrylic and aether you might have seen them on YouTube the aether amalgam and the acrylic chasers and I think more the aether amalgam probably They do custom scarves for systems so you can have different colors to like represent everybody And it has teal for DID Awareness. Which is super cool, they also knitted ray a hat which has the system pride colors on it Which we thought was super awesome and they’re really really comfy. Oh my god, they’re so soft. This is a great Grounding tool because the texture is really soft and interesting and then the knots give your fingers something to like Pay attention to which really helps when you’re getting like super dissociated. Yeah Also, we also pins that we found which are really cool. I have a system pride one here I have OSDD and System Pride And then we have a love yourself spin This is technically raised but I’m borrowing it because there wasn’t much room to put a third pin. So I technically only have the one pin but we’ll put them in the description, too And lastly if you have any questions for us or you want to share your own stories Feel free to leave all of that in the comments. We’ll answer them to the best of our abilities too, and Other than that, we’ll see you next time around Bye!